‘We talk about what we do and do not like.’
Kevin & Vivian Kevin (22) and Vivian (21) have a three-year old daughter. They still live at home with their families in Kisumu. Their daughter lives with Vivian and her family.
“We are getting there”, Kevin laughs when asked why they are not married or living together. Vivian adds: “A month passes, a year… but eventually the three of us will be together.”
After pressing the matter Kevin explains the situation: they currently have insufficient financial security to take good care of their child. Vivian works in a beauty salon and dreams of having her own salon one day. Kevin is a truck driver: “I love my work, but I wish I had a steady job. I currently only work once in a while, when they call me.”
“Luckily our families accept our relationship; we can be together as a couple at her home and at my home,” says Kevin.
When asked how they express their love for each other, Vivian starts giggling: “Are we talking about sex now…?” Kevin has less difficulty discussing this topic: “I like that she is to the point when it comes to sex; she says it like it is. We talk with each other about what we do and do not like.”
Still, living at home does have its drawbacks. Vivian: “He can give me a hug, but he cannot kiss me in the presence of others. Sometimes he tries when my mother is around, but I don’t want that.”
When Kevin teases her by saying she is afraid, she is quick to answer: “I am not afraid, but I just don’t think you should kiss in public!”
Kevin learned most of what he knows about sex from his friends. “My friends had girlfriends; that’s when I also wanted a date. We talked with each other about sex. Later I also surfed the Internet for information and I watched porno videos.
A neighborhood worker told Vivian about a clinic especially for young people. “They taught me how to take care of myself as a woman and that you need to use a condom when you are sexually active with your boyfriend. Since then we have been going there every three months to have ourselves tested for HIV. We agreed to do that.”